Making Money and Time

I am solidly of the "I'll sleep when I'm dead" group. I believe that nothing worth getting is worth getting cheaply (not in dollars, I'm a dedicated bargain shopper!)--hard work yields excellent results.

So call me a throwback. Whatev.

The difficult thing is balancing work and life. I'm a human being (shocker). I have needs and obligations, and I also have a stress threshold; not just the spiked-stress, where for a short period of time things are really crazy, but also the unrelenting, building, progressive stress of constantly working, not sleeping, causing fights with loved ones because you commit your time to places other than them.

I want to excel, to soar, and I've never been one to let something like a little hard work or insomnia get in my way. But what about the other things, arguably more important but less easy to define? How do you satisfy everything and everyone--including yourself?

Because I don't know how-to reduce stress. I do, in the same way we all do--breathe deeply, relax, do something you enjoy and exercise a lot. And yes, exercise is totally the thing that works for me--that, and that three story arc on Grey's Anatomy where Meredith almost dies? I cry like a baby for an hour an a half and then I'm a very untense puddle.

This hub is more of a slam. I feel sort of angry. I'm angry that I'm upstairs, writing a hub while my family is downstairs starting dinner. I'm angry that I'm worried about what will happen to my traffic while I'm on vacation over the weekend--and how long will it take to recover. To the point that I'm considering bringing my computer with me.

If I don't blog for even twelve hours, my traffic starts steadily--and rapidly--declining. Ditto the hubs. And it's like flying a plane--I think you have to maintain a certain speed to take off.

Adsense is utterly demoralizing. I see the grand picture, that making eighteen cents today means that in a few months, with a lot more hard work, I will be making eighteen dollars. Maybe even eighty one.

A girl can certainly dream.

But right now, I'm moving to another country, the exchange rate is not doing me any favors, and I've got to put down thousands of dollars for visas, apartment deposits, luggage, and airfare. And that's just the major stuff! There are new clothes to buy (it is my god given right, ok?) the stuff that isn't worth it to bring with me (baggage restrictions/cost of shipping) that I'll have to buy when I get there, and the electronics that though I can get marginally cheaper here, they'll have the wrong plug and I'll need a converter anyway.

And adsense has the gall to tell me that all my hard work this far has grossed me 87 cents.

And yet, somehow, conversely, perversely, I'm grateful. I am so damn psyched about 87 freakin' cents.

Yeah.

I am tired. I am angry. I am hot and sweaty, and I refuse to quit, or even slightly relent. I will keep working at this until I find something that makes more sense. And maybe, someday, I will manage everything effortlessly and without intensive aerobic exercise and Grey's Anatomy catharses.

This is the sort of stuff which belongs on the final word, my blog-o-home on the web.